I feel better,
Life still sucks,
Does anyone care?
Do I care that they don’t care?
I’m torn in two.
Please make this stop.
I need you.
I love you.
Our situations are very similar. Except… It’s flipped. I’m the one feeling alone.
Ha, and God dammit, I hate it.
Not because I’m jealous,… Well, maybe a little. I don’t want any other nigga around you… (but that’s okay because I love you.. and I’m learning to trust you. Even if it’s not what I want to do.)
My current situation happened to you about 4 times in out relationship.
And this is the first for me.
Well, 2nd, if you count 3 years ago or some shit.
It’s the worst.
When you couldn’t eat, I was starving.
When I can not even think to eat right now, “hey, wanna get pizza?”
I can’t wait til this is over.
And I hope it’s soon.
I will keep being a gentleman. Cause that’s how every lady should be treated.
I’ll keep opening the car door for you, showing you affection, and (when I can afford it) buy you flowers like I used to.
A nice walk in the evening sounds great with you.
And you know what…
You’re all I need.
And I know that you need me. I know it.
You need me too.
We’re meant for each other.
And I can’t wait to show you that big step later on in life.
That is… If you choose to spend it with me.
I know you’re in there. I’m going to find the old you & I’m never going to stop trying.
I’m feeling sadness and depression is creeping in.
Why is this happening to me?
My body is weak and I’m hanging on with a diet of caffeine and nicotine.
My mind is working overtime. Which is horrible because I overthink everything as it is.
I hope you want me as much as I want you.
Remember that song I wrote for you?
Or when I sang to you on your birthday?
I could just write another song about this but that’s so cliché.
The shitty thing is, is that music is my life.
And it won’t take away this feeling.
Music won’t get me out if this rut. I’ll just find myself writing a song about you.
God dammit I don’t know what I’m doing on here.
No one gives a fuck to read this anyway.
I need you.
I feel lonely without you.
When I told you what happened tonight, you wanted to come help me even if it wasn’t possible for you to do.
I now realize what you meant when you said I didn’t care enough to come and get you when you needed me.
I promise you that I will always come for you. Because now I know how it feels to be cared for. It’s a great feeling. It just fucking sucks because we can’t even say I love you anymore.
I want to tell you so bad, but I don’t want to hear you say nothing at all.
I miss my baby. You’re my best friend. I know you already have a best friend and I know it’s not as hard for you to break up. But I’m okay with you being my best friend because you’re all I need.
Everybody fucks up, everybody just fucks everything up. And I fucking hate myself for being a mother fucking bitch ass about everything within the last month or so.
I look through old pictures of us and nostalgia takes over my entire day and it controls me. I can not eat… Or do anything for that matter.
I love you.
I just wish you would love me too.
I’m going to keep trying to get my baby back.
No matter what.